Monthly Archives: November 2011

… tuesday morning

 

… nine-eleven-two thousand and one. Where were you? 16 miles away, sitting in an 8th grade math class, all we could see was the plume of smoke.

… attention all students, staff, and faculty …

… please report to the guidance office if …

… we don’t have any more information …

… everyone else, please carry on …

Radios crackled into frequency and panic flooded the rooms, bounced off of walls, bombarded eardrums. TVs were wheeled into classrooms, the cafeteria, anywhere and everyone gathered to watch as terror struck a nation. People ran, screaming through the haze of residue, sirens blared as rescuers disappeared into the chaos—and then the first tower fell.

Somehow, the world went mute. Or maybe just the TVs did. Either way, everyone’s history was changed forever …

 

Final Flight

 

an explosion of cries

heard around the world

with an echo of laughter audible in the background

without warning

you evaporated into eternal ashes

a cloud of dust seen from miles away

one by one

you all held hands in the sky

as you watched the world of terror beneath you unfold

you didn’t have time to say Goodbye

no I Love You’s before the walls and floors crumbled

the fire swallowed everything whole

mixing you with the bodies of those in the other tower

and the passengers on those planes

collapsing everything into a pile of

newly tangible lost dreams and battered souls

you danced with raging flames

if only for a second

before you became the very air that we now breathe

lining the lungs of those

no longer scared to inhale and take a breath

the weight of the dead is heavy

yet easily carried in the wind

to be taken in by the melting pot of Americans

and to cross oceans reminding nations

of the casualties of war

 

 

 


… chances are

no child left behind, a fantasy notion. Laughable in any of its intended meanings because there is always someone left behind or left feeling as if they have been. It’s one of the many unfortunate truths we learn to accept as we grow in life, as we experience. But when the subject is in fact a child, all they know is that they’ve been abandoned—forsaken of love, of chances, of answers. All of which are searched for in made up places because something concrete is always missing, be it tangible or not.

Babies don’t ask to be born but so many of them have to beg to be regarded for more than just a moment once they are. Too many struggle to be better than the people who leave them feeling the emptiest, to be better than the person that left them stranded …

 

Life’s a Gamble

 

To him

The moment of my conception came and went

He came, then went

On with his life

Cycling through the nights

Nothing from yesterday in today

Only looking to what’s next for tomorrow

But for me, that moment created a lifetime

One full of many lies

And just one truth

Daddy didn’t want me

He gave up on having a Daddy’s Little Girl

Because his not-so-Pretty Women

Called him Daddy all the same

But their minds were different

And some brains was all he wanted

Too many blips on his radar

For him to realize that the one related to the focal point

Is fighting to be somebody

He traded kindergarten graduation

For a pair of dice and some measly chips

Because despite loving to gamble

He wouldn’t take a chance

At ending his life for another one he created

I wasn’t worth one of those

Slot-machine pennies

I only got a BlackJack’s hit and split

Double the ante on anything

That could possibly pay off

More than having a child

Like standing on the same corners

Of the neighborhood blocks I avoid

Selling women and drugs

To dumb boys

Whose fathers never taught them a damn thing either

Except that empty promises and unborn memories

Taste like rejection

And undying love and selfless sacrifices

Sound more like fairytales than the lives we live

So

While the world is feeding its abandoned babies

Spoonfuls of falsehoods

My undeniable truth

Is clinging to my heart

While it tries to forget that

Daddy didn’t want me

 

 

 


… on fire

… feeling a bit fiery. It is good to be uninhibited at times and just let everything be. Allow the emotions, the desires, the should not’s of your everyday thoughts to win for once and just lose yourself; give in to passion and see what happens, feel it …

 

Burning Room

 

Flames lick thighs

They ignite something intangible

Something I didn’t know could be felt before

Let alone be held on to

Heat rises and

I close my eyes to feel your smile

It touches my heart

And slowly melts my bones

I get weak-kneed first

Then nothing else matters

Because I’m fluid now

Flesh, lingering on your fingertips

I’ve been stained by a mere touch

And I swear

We’re dancing in a burning room

 

 

 

 


… love nurtured

… nature versus nurture—innately born or (in)advertently made to be the person that you are; the basis of most issues riddling discussion boards world-wide.  The scientists are scrambling to prove that despite the complexity, the inner workings of the world are quite simple and the activists are well aware of their amendment rights, manipulating words and emotions to prove a point.

The list of arguments that kick start from this preliminary concern of born or influenced goes on and on but there are more still that are simply black and white. Either you’re born being and knowing or you have to learn how.

Love is on the nurture side of the spectrum. How to love and be loved must be learned, practiced, perfected. Love, in all of its sensations, is reciprocal and the ability to do so is oftentimes contingent on the love we receive and witness.  It may not be mirrored exactly, but there will be a direct correlation.

I’ve been the girl in this piece more than a few times in my life and in a world of different capacities. I haven’t necessarily lived this story but, often enough, I’ve been stripped of love and afforded love, in different degrees than I felt was deserved, to know that the effect is all in the same …

 

Party Girl

 

Her mother left

just around the time when the boys started knocking

when her hips began to spread

and her lips begged to be kissed

 

She would dance with boys at parties

trying to stay in rhythm

as their boyhoods pressed against her

feeling something like security

 

She never noticed the walls they leveraged their backs on

 

She would get lost in the moment

The bass shook any fears she ever had

and the heat

the heat made it seem

like everyone was having a good time

Those basements were the only places in the world that mattered

And the music brought them all together

made their problems

melt into the floor they danced on

filling the cracks

with confusion and anger

 

They danced

waiting for a fight to break out or the DJ’s last call

whichever came first

No matter the cause of the party’s end

she would wrangle her conquest for the night

and she’d fuck until it felt like love

because at the end of the day

that’s all she was ever really looking for

the only thing that was ever really missing